I hereby pledge...
Lisa, a dear childhood friend of mine since 5^th grade, read my daughter’s desperate plea and sent me her input:

Your daughter’s email touched me deeply. It shows how intelligent, emotional and considerate she is. How many children would go to such lengths to explain their feelings to their mother? You did a wonderful job raising her. But now you both have reached a pivotal point in your relationship. She is liberating herself and you must respect that. It means not interfering in her life unasked yet still letting her know that you will always have her back. This is hard to implement especially since you have been doing the opposite throughout her life.

In your response to her you state that she is your whole life. This sentence alone can weigh heavy on her shoulders.

You are right, not caring about her would be worse, but every extreme is unbalanced and not good in the long run.

My hope for you is to construct your relationship in such a way that you can both be happy with it.

 

Okay, so here it goes: I pledge that for one year, I will try my best and let "A" live her life without interfering, unless I think she will be in danger. I vow to let her find her own job, make her own decisions, and watch her fail even though I would have known better and could have "protected" her. On this blog I will periodically record my progress as well as hers and work on cutting the umbilical cord. I know I will slip sometimes and try to move an obstacle out of her path, but I will write this down also. A year from today, I hope my daughter "A" will be working in a job she loves and got by herself in whatever state or country she choses, make her own decisions no matter how precarious, and have failed a few times and gotten back up.